Ive never made a secret of having PND, well not since I decided to face up to it myself. I find almost every day questioning if im doing things right, if im doing okay, if im good enough, and the answer should always be yes!
My kids are thriving, they are learning all the time, becoming very independent and loving little humans. They never go without food, they have some gorgeous clothes, they get stuff when they need stuff, we always have heating and hot water, we have a huge amount of ‘stuff’ to keep them occupied. If my children need telling off they get told off. I get comments about how polite they are, how lovely they are so I must be doing something right. And although I know this I am clouded in self doubt! Do they really have enough stuff, should I be feeding them differently, do I spend enough time with them, do I teach them enough, has anyone else noticed the pinprick stain on my boys t shirt and think im a dirty lazy mum?
My son is very much a daddy’s boy at the moment and I cant help feeling like Ive done something to make him not want to know me. I know deep down thats stupid and all kids go through phases of being mummy & daddy’s kids but I cant help feeling im not good enough and my son knows that so doesn’t want to know me.
Im getting there, slowly. I’m realising how irrational some of my thoughts are and working through it. If you feel similar, you are not alone, and YES you are doing okay, actually you are doing great,