family, kids

Am I doing okay?

Ive never made a secret of having PND, well not since I decided to face up to it myself. I find almost every day questioning if im doing things right, if im doing okay, if im good enough, and the answer should always be yes!

My kids are thriving, they are learning all the time, becoming very independent and loving little humans. They never go without food, they have some gorgeous clothes, they get stuff when they need stuff, we always have heating and hot water, we have a huge amount of ‘stuff’ to keep them occupied. If my children need telling off they get told off. I get comments about how polite they are, how lovely they are so I must be doing something right. And although I know this I am clouded in self doubt! Do they really have enough stuff, should I be feeding them differently, do I spend enough time with them, do I teach them enough, has anyone else noticed the pinprick stain on my boys t shirt and think im a dirty lazy mum?

My son is very much a daddy’s boy at the moment and I cant help feeling like Ive done something to make him not want to know me. I know deep down thats stupid and all kids go through phases of being mummy & daddy’s kids but I cant help feeling im not good enough and my son knows that so doesn’t want to know me.

Im getting there, slowly. I’m realising how irrational some of my thoughts are and working through it. If you feel similar, you are not alone, and YES you are doing okay, actually you are doing great,

Fern

family, kids, Uncategorized

Im Back..

well Ive been absent for a while, Ive been moving house. And we now homeschool so things have been pretty busy. Our new house is a new build so when we moved in we had no flooring, the walls where bare, it was a complete blank canvas. we moved some of our furniture in and got rid of lots, we also bought new furniture as this place is much bigger and Little L now has his own room! we live in a small village now and I love it. Its completely beautiful, we are surrounded by fields and woods, gorgeous walks and loads of wildlife. As for hoeschooling im quite loving it. We have penpals from all over the UK, the girls are enjoying doing work here and Im loving seeing their progress. They will both actively ask for home work when they are board which is pretty awesome! However now that my partners 2 are on their school holidays we will be having them too so here begins 6 weeks of crazyness with between 2-5 kids at a time! I love the chaos of having a house full of kids, its what ive dreamed of since I was young. I will be reviewing some of our summer activities on here as well as doing some housey bits. But I am open to suggestions on what you would like to see on here

Fern

family

Preparing for Christmas

well my Christmas prep began last year as soon as Christmas 2015 was over. Buying up reduced gift sets for my siblings & mum (they will be separated out & put into hampers) and lots of reduced Christmas lights. We love christmas and the chance to go overboard decorating our house, our house is currently covered in cobwebs, spiders, skeletons and other spooky stuff and my clever partner bought a projector so from outside you can see ghosts & other spooky things floating around moving & screaming. 
I started buying the kids gifts in the sainsburys sale, every year I try to take advantage of sales which are on in various places. Everywhere has sales on currently for half term. Last year the Asda toy sale was brilliant and I got really good bargains.

The thing which I get really excited about though is Christmas dinner! I love christmas dinner & I love the chance to show off my cooking skills. Last year because my due date was Christmas day I didn’t want to be messing around on the run up to the day so I ordered a hamper from http://www.musclefood.com it totally saved my day! And was completely gorgeous. It contained everything we needed. The turkey was massive and we had loads of leftovers to munch on boxing day (crusty roll, turkey, pigs in blankets & stuffing with cranberry sauce makes the nicest boxing day lunch EVER!!) And this year we will be doing the same! This year we will be going for the turkey breast hamper aswell as lots of extra pigs in blankets because they are so lush! 
Through the last couple of months every time there’s an ‘odd’ in our bank accounts I move it over to a savings account which I’ve been keeping for Christmas. So if there was £26 id move the £6 to savings, £71 id move the £1 across, it all adds up and Its something i plan on keeping up. With 5 kids between us to buy for this time of year gets expensive! 
How do you prep for Christmas? 
Nothing was provided for this post, I just found these places a great help in Christmas prep! 

family, kids

10 gross things I do since becoming mum

1. Wet wipe washes, when you’ve 3 under 5, or at weekends 5 under 10 then time is short. Wetwipes are saviours if your a bit wiffy but have a 3 month old in a wrap and a 2 year old hanging off your leg whilst the 4 year old shouts for help to wipe her bum…

2. Growing my little fingernails long to pick bogeys. Little noses get so bunged up sometimes only a quick swipe of the nail will do..

3. Eat food that’s been in someone else’s hand, kids hands are gross! Yet if they come over with food in their grubby sticky hands I’ll accept it.

4. Fill my handbag/pockets with sticky snotty dirty wetwipes/tissues, well rather that than the floor..

5. Sniff the baby’s bum to see if he’s pooed. Well sometimes you’ve just gotta be sure!

6. Sniff test things to work out what they are, has someone weed on the floor or is it juice? Has someone been sat in chocolate or had an accident?

7. Brush talc through my hair and stick it in a ponytail, goes so well with the wetwipes wash…

8. Allow someone else to watch me go to the toilet! People with little children all know you no longer get to use the toilet in peace (sometimes I lick them out just for 5 minutes Alone though)

9. Share a bath which may or may not have been peed in! Ahh lovely relaxing bath and boom the door flies open and in sprints the 2 year old pulling off clothes as she goes and lunges headfirst into the bath… Thanks OH so much for I’ll keep them occupied so you can have a bath…

10. Wear clothes which are customised by my children, “ohh lovely broach” “yes the child has a horrendous cold and I thought the colour just goes” spit, snot and pretty much every other bodily fluid adorns my clothes, used to set off the designs, to stick on added glitter and to embellish my shoulders…

What gross things do you do?

A Cornish Mum
family, kids

Why I agree with the gender neutral idea..

I agree with the idea of a gender neutral childhood however I believe it should just be called a free childhood or an something else. People saying their children are gender neutral are in correct, every child has a gender, maybe some feel they arnt the correct gender, maybe some feel that they are gender fluid but they do have a gender.

I agree that toys should be neutral, yes there’s a place for pink and blue but there’s also a place for red, green, yellow. Bright colours are so much nicer. I don’t tell my children they must play with certain toys because they are girls, I don’t tell them they must wear certain things. Midge loves dinosaurs and trains and trucks, we are currently buying her birthday presents In preparation for her birthday next month, so far most of the presents are aimed at boys, a dinosaur, a robot, grow bug eating plants. She will love them because they are what she enjoys, however it doesn’t make her gender neutral, she’s still a girl and some of her other presents are pony’s and puppies, which she also really enjoys playing with.
One day when my partners children where over they swapped shoes & coats and wanted to wear them home, so I let them, his son will occasionally don one of our princess dresses or allow the girls to put his hair up (he’s 10 so it’s quite a big deal.)

I will always try to give my children whatever tools they need to become the people they want to become, however I have 2 daughters and a son, the toys they play with and the clothes they wear doesn’t change that fact. My children arnt gender neutral, they all have a gender however they are children who are free to explore all the opportunities in life and to make their own decisions about what they want.
Let children be children, they don’t need labels.

 

A Cornish Mum

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family, kids

Feeling like I’ve lost the connection

Recently I’ve begun feeling like I’ve lost my connection with my girls, I feel I’m always telling them “no” “wait” “in a minute” but that minute never comes. I feel I’m always feeding little L, cleaning up, tidying up, making the tea or on my phone eBay/shopping/Twitter/reading the news. So the girls have been pushed out. I hate myself for it. It shouldn’t be like this. I feel I don’t know my girls any more, I don’t know what goes on in their pretty little heads, they spend most of the day in their bedroom playing with their toys. I love that they are such independent children and very outgoing but I don’t want them to feel their mummy isn’t there for them.
I don’t think it’s helping midge because she still won’t use the toilet or potty but I think that’s partly because when I have to change her bum it means I’m paying her attention same with sassy at night times, she will get up lots of times & come into the front room and just say random things just so she’s got my attention whilst the other 2 are in bed.
They both tell me they miss me whenever they go anywhere.

I really need to get my connection back with my girls.

 

 

A Cornish Mum

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family, kids

To new mummies & mummies to be (and daddies of course!)

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Hi, well if your here your probably embarking on the most exciting, exhausting, exhilarating journey of your life, there will be good times, bad times and down right crappy times! Sometimes the baby will be awake for hours, crying & screaming, other times they will smile, giggle, babble & grab your finger.

What do you need? Well a babies basic needs are

to be fed & watered, whatever way you choose to feed your baby comes with equipment, bottles, steriliser, bottle brush, breast pump, nursing bras, nipple cream, breast pads.

To be comfy, clean dry nappies as needed, wipes to clean their bum, barrier cream helps prevent nappy rash, bamboo inserts if your cloth nappying, clean soft baby clothes, sleepsuits are best. Soft blankets which arnt scratchy or too heavy. Personally you cannot beat a knitted blanket. Enough layers that they arnt cold but not too many that they are too hot!

Sleep, somewhere appropriate & comfy to sleep, feet to foot position to stop baby wriggling down, not cluttered (no teddies which can fall onto baby) no pillows under 12 months, make sure they can’t roll off or out or get trapped. New mattress as it lowers the risk of SIDS.

Safety, appropriate pushchair for the age, a carrycot attachment is best at first, car seat, new not second hand, stair gates to barrier any hazards, cupboard locks to stop them drinking bleach or eating washing tablets.. (Yes the last ones you have a bit of time to worry about but not much!!)

Anything else is just nice to have so once you’ve got the basics then go but your nice to haves, pretty bedding, dummies, baby monitors, sleeping bags,baby bouncy chairs, swings, toys, mobiles. What’s important to you won’t be to everyone, your baby may not even like the extra bits you buy. Go second hand wherever you can (except for car seats and mattress) because babies use things for such a short amount of time! Little L is now in a cot bed, he used his Moses basket for 3 months but one month of that he was in his pushchair because he had such a bad cold/cough he needed to be upright.

Feed your baby how you feel is appropriate for your family, I breastfed sassy for 9 months, she was my only child we fell into it easily and she refused bottles, midge I breastfed for 6 weeks, then we moved house and suddenly I was alone with a 20 month old and a newborn all day so bottles where easier, little L I exclusively breastfed for about 5 days but he lost weight & I found it hard with a 2 year old and 4 year old, school runs and shopping and everything else! Don’t feel guilt whatever way you choose to feed! Baby being fed is the most important thing.

After the birth you may bleed, quite a lot. Make sure you’ve got thick pads, maternity ones or normal night time pads are fine. You may also get cramps as your stomach shrinks back down too. Like minor contractions.

If people are going to buy stuff or give you gifts either open a savings account or ask for baby shop gift cards so you can purchase what you need, who really needs 3 singing teddies or 2 of the same ball. Or 10000 outfits which are too small. We asked for any clothes to be 6 months + as we had bought most bits upto 6 months. 3 months after birth we are now going into 6-9 month clothes.

It will be hard, but it’s also so rewarding. The smiles, the giggles makes the sleep deprivation worth it. Babies whilst they are quite delicate, they arnt as delicate as some people seem to think. No shaking them but they don’t need to be totally wrapped in cotton wool, or maybe that’s just me..