family, kids

Am I doing okay?

Ive never made a secret of having PND, well not since I decided to face up to it myself. I find almost every day questioning if im doing things right, if im doing okay, if im good enough, and the answer should always be yes!

My kids are thriving, they are learning all the time, becoming very independent and loving little humans. They never go without food, they have some gorgeous clothes, they get stuff when they need stuff, we always have heating and hot water, we have a huge amount of ‘stuff’ to keep them occupied. If my children need telling off they get told off. I get comments about how polite they are, how lovely they are so I must be doing something right. And although I know this I am clouded in self doubt! Do they really have enough stuff, should I be feeding them differently, do I spend enough time with them, do I teach them enough, has anyone else noticed the pinprick stain on my boys t shirt and think im a dirty lazy mum?

My son is very much a daddy’s boy at the moment and I cant help feeling like Ive done something to make him not want to know me. I know deep down thats stupid and all kids go through phases of being mummy & daddy’s kids but I cant help feeling im not good enough and my son knows that so doesn’t want to know me.

Im getting there, slowly. I’m realising how irrational some of my thoughts are and working through it. If you feel similar, you are not alone, and YES you are doing okay, actually you are doing great,

Fern

family, kids, Uncategorized

Im Back..

well Ive been absent for a while, Ive been moving house. And we now homeschool so things have been pretty busy. Our new house is a new build so when we moved in we had no flooring, the walls where bare, it was a complete blank canvas. we moved some of our furniture in and got rid of lots, we also bought new furniture as this place is much bigger and Little L now has his own room! we live in a small village now and I love it. Its completely beautiful, we are surrounded by fields and woods, gorgeous walks and loads of wildlife. As for hoeschooling im quite loving it. We have penpals from all over the UK, the girls are enjoying doing work here and Im loving seeing their progress. They will both actively ask for home work when they are board which is pretty awesome! However now that my partners 2 are on their school holidays we will be having them too so here begins 6 weeks of crazyness with between 2-5 kids at a time! I love the chaos of having a house full of kids, its what ive dreamed of since I was young. I will be reviewing some of our summer activities on here as well as doing some housey bits. But I am open to suggestions on what you would like to see on here

Fern

family, kids

10 gross things I do since becoming mum

1. Wet wipe washes, when you’ve 3 under 5, or at weekends 5 under 10 then time is short. Wetwipes are saviours if your a bit wiffy but have a 3 month old in a wrap and a 2 year old hanging off your leg whilst the 4 year old shouts for help to wipe her bum…

2. Growing my little fingernails long to pick bogeys. Little noses get so bunged up sometimes only a quick swipe of the nail will do..

3. Eat food that’s been in someone else’s hand, kids hands are gross! Yet if they come over with food in their grubby sticky hands I’ll accept it.

4. Fill my handbag/pockets with sticky snotty dirty wetwipes/tissues, well rather that than the floor..

5. Sniff the baby’s bum to see if he’s pooed. Well sometimes you’ve just gotta be sure!

6. Sniff test things to work out what they are, has someone weed on the floor or is it juice? Has someone been sat in chocolate or had an accident?

7. Brush talc through my hair and stick it in a ponytail, goes so well with the wetwipes wash…

8. Allow someone else to watch me go to the toilet! People with little children all know you no longer get to use the toilet in peace (sometimes I lick them out just for 5 minutes Alone though)

9. Share a bath which may or may not have been peed in! Ahh lovely relaxing bath and boom the door flies open and in sprints the 2 year old pulling off clothes as she goes and lunges headfirst into the bath… Thanks OH so much for I’ll keep them occupied so you can have a bath…

10. Wear clothes which are customised by my children, “ohh lovely broach” “yes the child has a horrendous cold and I thought the colour just goes” spit, snot and pretty much every other bodily fluid adorns my clothes, used to set off the designs, to stick on added glitter and to embellish my shoulders…

What gross things do you do?

A Cornish Mum
family, kids

Why I agree with the gender neutral idea..

I agree with the idea of a gender neutral childhood however I believe it should just be called a free childhood or an something else. People saying their children are gender neutral are in correct, every child has a gender, maybe some feel they arnt the correct gender, maybe some feel that they are gender fluid but they do have a gender.

I agree that toys should be neutral, yes there’s a place for pink and blue but there’s also a place for red, green, yellow. Bright colours are so much nicer. I don’t tell my children they must play with certain toys because they are girls, I don’t tell them they must wear certain things. Midge loves dinosaurs and trains and trucks, we are currently buying her birthday presents In preparation for her birthday next month, so far most of the presents are aimed at boys, a dinosaur, a robot, grow bug eating plants. She will love them because they are what she enjoys, however it doesn’t make her gender neutral, she’s still a girl and some of her other presents are pony’s and puppies, which she also really enjoys playing with.
One day when my partners children where over they swapped shoes & coats and wanted to wear them home, so I let them, his son will occasionally don one of our princess dresses or allow the girls to put his hair up (he’s 10 so it’s quite a big deal.)

I will always try to give my children whatever tools they need to become the people they want to become, however I have 2 daughters and a son, the toys they play with and the clothes they wear doesn’t change that fact. My children arnt gender neutral, they all have a gender however they are children who are free to explore all the opportunities in life and to make their own decisions about what they want.
Let children be children, they don’t need labels.

 

A Cornish Mum

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family, kids

Feeling like I’ve lost the connection

Recently I’ve begun feeling like I’ve lost my connection with my girls, I feel I’m always telling them “no” “wait” “in a minute” but that minute never comes. I feel I’m always feeding little L, cleaning up, tidying up, making the tea or on my phone eBay/shopping/Twitter/reading the news. So the girls have been pushed out. I hate myself for it. It shouldn’t be like this. I feel I don’t know my girls any more, I don’t know what goes on in their pretty little heads, they spend most of the day in their bedroom playing with their toys. I love that they are such independent children and very outgoing but I don’t want them to feel their mummy isn’t there for them.
I don’t think it’s helping midge because she still won’t use the toilet or potty but I think that’s partly because when I have to change her bum it means I’m paying her attention same with sassy at night times, she will get up lots of times & come into the front room and just say random things just so she’s got my attention whilst the other 2 are in bed.
They both tell me they miss me whenever they go anywhere.

I really need to get my connection back with my girls.

 

 

A Cornish Mum

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family, kids

To new mummies & mummies to be (and daddies of course!)

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Hi, well if your here your probably embarking on the most exciting, exhausting, exhilarating journey of your life, there will be good times, bad times and down right crappy times! Sometimes the baby will be awake for hours, crying & screaming, other times they will smile, giggle, babble & grab your finger.

What do you need? Well a babies basic needs are

to be fed & watered, whatever way you choose to feed your baby comes with equipment, bottles, steriliser, bottle brush, breast pump, nursing bras, nipple cream, breast pads.

To be comfy, clean dry nappies as needed, wipes to clean their bum, barrier cream helps prevent nappy rash, bamboo inserts if your cloth nappying, clean soft baby clothes, sleepsuits are best. Soft blankets which arnt scratchy or too heavy. Personally you cannot beat a knitted blanket. Enough layers that they arnt cold but not too many that they are too hot!

Sleep, somewhere appropriate & comfy to sleep, feet to foot position to stop baby wriggling down, not cluttered (no teddies which can fall onto baby) no pillows under 12 months, make sure they can’t roll off or out or get trapped. New mattress as it lowers the risk of SIDS.

Safety, appropriate pushchair for the age, a carrycot attachment is best at first, car seat, new not second hand, stair gates to barrier any hazards, cupboard locks to stop them drinking bleach or eating washing tablets.. (Yes the last ones you have a bit of time to worry about but not much!!)

Anything else is just nice to have so once you’ve got the basics then go but your nice to haves, pretty bedding, dummies, baby monitors, sleeping bags,baby bouncy chairs, swings, toys, mobiles. What’s important to you won’t be to everyone, your baby may not even like the extra bits you buy. Go second hand wherever you can (except for car seats and mattress) because babies use things for such a short amount of time! Little L is now in a cot bed, he used his Moses basket for 3 months but one month of that he was in his pushchair because he had such a bad cold/cough he needed to be upright.

Feed your baby how you feel is appropriate for your family, I breastfed sassy for 9 months, she was my only child we fell into it easily and she refused bottles, midge I breastfed for 6 weeks, then we moved house and suddenly I was alone with a 20 month old and a newborn all day so bottles where easier, little L I exclusively breastfed for about 5 days but he lost weight & I found it hard with a 2 year old and 4 year old, school runs and shopping and everything else! Don’t feel guilt whatever way you choose to feed! Baby being fed is the most important thing.

After the birth you may bleed, quite a lot. Make sure you’ve got thick pads, maternity ones or normal night time pads are fine. You may also get cramps as your stomach shrinks back down too. Like minor contractions.

If people are going to buy stuff or give you gifts either open a savings account or ask for baby shop gift cards so you can purchase what you need, who really needs 3 singing teddies or 2 of the same ball. Or 10000 outfits which are too small. We asked for any clothes to be 6 months + as we had bought most bits upto 6 months. 3 months after birth we are now going into 6-9 month clothes.

It will be hard, but it’s also so rewarding. The smiles, the giggles makes the sleep deprivation worth it. Babies whilst they are quite delicate, they arnt as delicate as some people seem to think. No shaking them but they don’t need to be totally wrapped in cotton wool, or maybe that’s just me..

kids

The trials of 3 under 5..

Maybe a few days ago you saw my tweet about siblings in sync? Well currently in my house all 3 siblings seem to need to poo at the same time! Midge is toilet training but still uses pull ups sometimes. Sassy has been toilet trained since she was 2 & a half and little L is 3 months old..
It kind of goes something like this.
I sit down to change little L because he’s stinking (again) suddenly midge is diving behind the sofa, she’s wearing big girl pants. Midge only hides behind the sofa when she’s done something she shouldn’t.. Then the smell slaps me round the face, oh no! I have little L nappyless laying on the changing mat, now midge has poo’d in (her sisters) pants which if not cleaned quick will be all over the floor & everywhere else, so I tell her to go into the bathroom, I’ll be in in a second, so off she goes. Suddenly I hear sassy screeching, “get out I’m trying to poo! It’s rude don’t watch me!…Mummy I was too busy playing and I started to  wee in my clothes & on the
bathroom floor/ toilet seat a bit!!” So whilst still attempting to wrestle a nappy back onto little L , midge is stood on the landing unsure where to go now pants full & uncomfortable, sassy screeching about privacy & needing new clothes, I just shake my head, why must they all go at the same time?! This is a regular occurrence as well, not just a one off. I never knew 3 little people could produce so much poo.

The other thing is being hungry or thirsty, every time I sit down to give little L his bottle one of the girls will appear from nowhere “I’m very very hungry” “I’m sooo thirsty” “I really really am so hungry/thirsty” “honestly I really need a drink”

At night they seem to tag team against me. There was a night last week, sassy was up till 10.30, midge then woke at 1.05 and again at 2.15, then little L woke at 3.30, sassy got out of bed to go the toilet & then was up untill 4.30, then little L woke at 6 when we got up.. Most nights I’ll go to bed about 11 midge will wake at 2 ish then be up till 4-5 then little L wakes at 5-5.30.

It is a total madhouse here, and as much as I wish they’d sleep better, that kids came toilet trained and wernt bottomless pits, they are my whole world.

 

A Cornish Mum

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kids, Review

Twirlywoos magazine- review

My daughters love twirlywoos, they watch it pretty much every day so when the magazine was up for review I had to jump at it!
Upon opening it I straight away saw how bright & colourful it was. There was a free gift with stamps, notepad & crayons. The girls firstly pushed the magazine aside to play with the stamps and ink. Then one of them realised there where STICKERS inside!!! My girls are obsessed with stickers.
The magazine is lovely, with colouring, short stories & other activities for the children to do. The girls liked trying to find peekaboo through the magazine.

It was a huge hit with both the 2 year old & 4 year old.

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Yes she’s actually sat on the table..

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I was sent the magazine in return for an honest review.

kids

I’m such a bad parent..

Well not really (I hope anyway!) But yesterday it dawned on me, I am forever bribing my children, blackmailing them into being good.

If you don’t tidy up your toys you can’t get *insert crafty activity* out.

If we don’t get tidyed up we arnt going to be able to go to the shop.

If you don’t eat your tea you can’t have afters.

If you don’t go off to sleep quietly we wont be doing fun things tomorrow…

How awful am I?! I’ve really got to try other approaches, I’d never considered how much I do it until yesterday. Naughty mummy!

A Cornish Mum

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kids

Nursery rhyme origins.

I’d never really thought about the rhymes me and the girls sing before. Not in any more detail than to remember the words.. One day we where watching Mother Goose Club on youtube ( My OH really dislikes it but the girls love it)  and Ring Around the Rosy came on, my OH’s dad said “I don’t know why they still sing this its about the plague!” Which caused me to look into the origins of some of the rhymes we sing! 

Lucy Locket

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Lucy Locket lost her pocket

And Kitty Fisher found it.

Not a penny was there in it,

Only a ribbon around it.



Both Lucy and Kitty were real people, in the 18th century. Lucy Locket was a barmaid and some-time prostitute. When one of her wealthy lovers (the ‘pocket’) lost all his money, she dropped him like a hot potato, only to learn afterwards that her rival, Kitty Fisher, had taken up with him despite his poverty (‘not a penny’). The spat between the two ladies was well known at the time, as Kitty taunted Lucy for dropping her lover. Kitty claimed she had found a ribbon around him – a serious jibe at Lucy, as prostitutes at that time kept their money tied around the thigh with a ribbon. 


Oranges and Lemons

Oranges and lemons
Say the bells of St Clemens,
You owe me five farthings
Say the bells of St Martins,
When will you pay me?
Say the bells of Old Bailey,
When I grow rich
Say the bells of Shoreditch,
When will that be?
Say the bells of Stepney,
I do not know
Says the great bell of Bow,



Here comes a candle to light you to bed

And here comes a chopper

To chop off your head!

Chip, chop, chip, chop

The last one is dead!



The second part of this rhyme is a clue to the purpose of the first part – the poor fellow ends up dead! The bells belong to famous churches in London; it’s possible that these were the churches a condemned man would pass, on his way to his execution.

St Clemens, the first church, is likely that in Eastcheap. The Eastcheap docks saw the unloading of cargo from the Mediterranean – often including oranges and lemons. But not only fruit was unloaded at Eastcheap: it was also the dock at which condemned men would disembark, to begin their final journey.



Pop Goes the Weasel

Pop_goes_the_weasel

Half a pound of tuppenny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.
Up and down the City Road
In and out of the Eagle
That’s the way the money goes,
Pop goes the weasel.



Every night when I go out 

The monkey’s on the table

Take a stick and knock it off,

Pop goes the weasel.



A penny for a ball of thread

Another for a needle

That’s the way the money goes,

Pop goes the weasel.


“Pop goes the weasel” seems at first glance to be a nonsense rhyme, one without any purpose behind it at all – but really it’s an account of poverty, pawnbroking, minimum wage, and a serious night out on the town.

The ‘weasel’ in the rhyme is a winter coat, which has to be pawned – or ‘popped’ – in exchange for various things. The first verse describes the cheapest food available; the narrator of the poem has no money, so ‘pop’ goes the weasel. The second verse describes a night out at a music hall called the Eagle Tavern, which was located on the City Road. But music halls – and drinks – cost money. Pop goes the weasel. The third verse is a bit more obscure than the first two; a monkey is slang for a tankard, while knocking off a stick was slang for drinking. The last verse probably refers to the narrator’s day job.

So this little nonsensical ditty is actually about struggling to make ends meet. It’s still an upbeat tune, letting the reader see that a night on the town is well worth the week of terrible food, wages and general living conditions.

Ring Around the Rosy

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Ring-a-ring o’ roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down

or

Ring-a-round the rosie,
A pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down

“Ring Around the Rosie” Though its lyrics and even its title have gone through some changes over the years, the most popular contention is that the sing-songy verse refers to the 1665 Great Plague of London.“The rosie” is the rash that covered the afflicted, the smell from which they attempted to cover up with “a pocket full of posies.” The plague killed nearly 15 percent of the country’s population, which makes the final verse—“Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down”—rather self-explanatory.* Although this is debated, and some people have said its wrong, I dont know personally ..

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY (1744)

mary

Mary, Mary quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
with silver bells and cockle shells
and pretty maids all in a row.

Contrary” is one way to describe a murderous psychopath. This popular English nursery rhyme, which reads like a solicitation for gardening advice, is actually a recounting of the homicidal nature of Queen Mary I of England, a.k.a. Bloody Mary. A fierce believer in Catholicism, her reign as queen—from 1553 to 1558—was marked by the execution of hundreds of Protestants. (Silver bells and cockle shells are torture devices, not garden accouterments.)

Humpty Dumpty

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humpty isnt really an egg, the rhyme is about a canon from the english civil war

Jack and Jill

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Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down,
And broke his crown;
And Jill came tumbling after.

This poem originated in France. The characters refer to King Louis XVI, Jack, and his Queen Marie Antoinette, Jill. Jack was beheaded (lost his crown) first, then Jill came tumbling after during the Reign of Terror in 1793.

we love nursery rhymes, and both girls know most of the words to most of them. we like singing wind the bobbin up, but can never find it anywhere! so many people haven’t heard of it.